Circumstance

 

I recently found this picture among my Dad’s belongings, showing our family and friends in the winner’s circle after one of his horses won a race. It brought back fond memories of those summer nights at the racetrack, waiting for the race with great anticipation and then gathering around the winning horse, jockey, and trainer. (I also loved that a win usually meant a stop at Bob’s Big Boy on the way home!) It felt like we were all in it together. 

About 15 years ago, the small construction company where I had worked for ten years closed down. The owner retired, and his kids decided to get out while they were ahead. It was my first experience with unemployment. I endured exactly a year of a fruitless job search back when applying for jobs meant mailing in your application. I may have applied for 20 jobs during that time and eventually ended up employed at the same place I had worked before the construction company. The job found me after a lunch with an old co-worker, who did not hesitate to hire me upon hearing I was available. 

Fast forward to last week. I'm about to enter my 12th month of unemployment, having sent out over 80 applications with the click of a button. Most of these jobs show at least 100 applicants, sometimes even 1000+, all vying for the same position, which we hope is actually real. While scrolling on social media, a former co-worker mentioned that those complaining about the job market are out of touch with reality and only believe their own circumstances. This person is gainfully employed and living an event-filled, travel-rich life. And I get it, we are living in days where there is so much information being pumped through the airways, it's hard to know what is real. He’s absolutely right… I do believe my own circumstances. They sometimes keep me up at night and make it hard to get out of bed. Sometimes my circumstances make me feel less than, forgotten, and like a failure. 

If you’ve read this far, please know that I am not asking for your sympathy. I understand that my situation is not like others'. I have made choices that have led to my current circumstances, like saying yes to the wrong things and no to things that felt like settling. I’m also well aware that my circumstances include a roof over my head, food in my refrigerator, and no children to support. 

What I am asking, mostly of myself, is how I will stay engaged with others in this state of “unemployment” once my circumstances change? Because I know my circumstances will change. The word “circumstance” is derived from Latin words “circum” meaning “around” and “stare” meaning “stand,” or “circumstare” meaning “encompass or encircle.” When I read the root of the word, it made me think of the picture I had just found, and all the people encircling the winning horse. The win involved more than just the horse; it was a group of people who participated in the process either by training, handling, or simply being family members cheering in the stands (even if it was for the desire of a burger afterward!). 

This reflection made me want to focus not just on my current state of unemployment, but on the people who have encircled me long before the “win” that is coming. Thank you to everyone who has reached out, sent me job leads, gotten on the phone or Zoom, encouraged me, and reminded me that my circumstances are not just a made-up reality. I have been deeply touched by those who have shown up, not just for the winning picture. And know that once my circumstance changes, I plan to continue to stand, in some way, for others experiencing this sometimes harsh, but temporary, reality. And you won't have to buy me a burger!